97: The Real Reason Part 2
Easton
“You seem very excited about this.” Luci smiles at him. I kneel beside him on the floor. She
sets it on the couch next to her. Her face changes as she reaches in, smiling at him puzzled. The large polar bear comes out and she stares at it. “Like the movie we watched.” She
remarks.
Cole shakes his head. “There’s another one.”
She reaches back in laughing. “No wonder the bag was bigger than you. Is it a baby polar…”
her voice dies off as the penguin emerges. She swallows visibly as she holds them both in her
lap facing up at her. “Coco…” her voice wavers barely.
“Do you like them Luci?” He climbs up onto the couch next to her.
“They’re beautiful.” She says very softly.
“Are they big enough? You said the others were really big, but I not know how big. You can
sleep with them every night. So you know you’re real every time you wake up and see them.
My real Luci cause I love you to the moon and back.” He ends with that sweet declaration, lifting the penguin up and staring at her hopefully. That’s when her eyes close like she’s in
pain and she takes a slow deep breath before opening them again.
I hear Kingston whispering to Dad on the other couch.
Her eyes are brimming with tears, which kills me to see. That chin quiver as she bites her lip
trying to hold back…I know she hasn’t gone off into her mind at least. She finally tries to
speak, but has to start over a few times, blinking rapidly to keep the tears in. “You…you heard
me…” she whispers to him.
“Uh huh. You were sad. Now you can be happy. I sorry that lady was mean. Luci is real.
Always real because you make me happy like you said. You give out real love to Daddy and me and Barrett and Sydney. All the people. Are they as big as the ones little Luci picked?” He
stares hopefully up at her.
She nods, doing her best to keep it together. He touches her cheek. “Are you sad?”
“No. Come hold me Coco.” She buries her face in his shoulder when he wraps his arms around
her neck. I put my hands on the sides of her thighs and wait. She’s doing her best to cry
quietly. I hear a few other sniffles behind me. “We almost didn’t find the polar bear. Uncle
Kingston had to drive far away from us to get him. I had to get both so you’d know. You won’t
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forget and be sad again, right?”
I hear her muffled whisper. “Thank you.” She lifts her head enough to talk to him and the tears are flowing down her cheeks. “They are perfect. I won’t forget that I’m real. You can’t forget that you’re real too. You have to promise me that. We can tell each other if one of us forgets.”
“I promise. Real Coco and real Luci. They’re soft.” He hugs the penguin tight. She runs her fingers through his hair as she pulls him back against her.
“You picked the best ones. You are the most special little boy, Cole. A rare gem and I’m lucky I
got to be part of your life. I love you so much. Much, much, much more than tacos or cookies.”
He giggles. “I want you to always remember that your heart and love can heal the most broken of hearts, I think. Coco love has magical, special powers. I won’t let anyone ever hurt you. I
love my two new friends. I’ll keep them with me forever.” She stares at me and I reach over to
wipe her face.
“Why did she say you’re not real?” He asks her.
I intervene. “Cole, maybe we…”
She shakes her head at me, sniffling. “Coco, do you remember I said Janet took care of me?”
He nods.
“She didn’t always take care of me. I lived with another family. This lady’s name was Rachel
and she had two other kids older than me. She only thought her kids were real kids. She
thought kids without parents weren’t real and we should be treated different.”
His face scrunches up in confusion. “But kids are kids.”
“They are sweetie. Not everyone acts that way.”
“Did you tell her you were real?”
“No. I didn’t know I was….”
“Can I help name them?” He points to the animals.
Luci is about at her limit, but she takes a deep breath and nods. “Coconut, let’s make a list of names and then we’ll let you and Luci pick. Come over here.” Jackson calls out to give her a
break.
The minute he’s out of her lap she buries her face in both hands, shaking. I hurry to sit next to her and wrap myself around her to hide her. “I’m sorry Luci. Maybe I should have warned you.
This was all his idea.”
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“No, he would have known you did. I didn’t know he heard me. I hope he didn’t hear it all.” She sniffles.
“He only heard this part, but I plan to hear it all. You are so real Luci. So f*****g real.” I tell her quietly. “No one should have ever made you feel like that.”
Luci
“I know. She was just a horrible person and her words shouldn’t have mattered, but I was six
and I didn’t understand why I was treated differently. She doesn’t matter.”
“SIX?!” He growls. “She told you that at six….she’ll pay for that. My beautiful, real Luci. We
won’t let you forget how special you are. I promise you that.”
I stay there until I stop crying. “I’m ok now. Let me go wash my face.”
He releases me and I hurry to do that but also to breathe for a second. Cole keeps hearing too
many ugly things. It’s time for me to get my act together and make sure he doesn’t hear any
more stupidity from my mouth. When I saw those two animals together, I knew he’d heard me
that night. I thought he was asleep, which is my fault. I never wanted him to know that. Now I
know why he told Lorelei he wasn’t real and that about broke me. He has the biggest heart on
earth to have bought those. I lean against the bathroom wall for a second and feel those hearts against my chest. I touch them taking a deep breath. How I ended up with them I’ll never figure out but I have never been more grateful. In spite of the sadness behind it all, I find myself smiling as that warmth floods over me. Knowing Easton and Cole both love me….. leave after making sure I don’t look like I cried for hours.
When I return, I head to the tree. “Coco, let’s pass out presents to your uncles and Daddy and Grandpappy. They probably want to see what you bought them.”
“Mommy are all my presents for them here?” I point to all the boxes we wrapped.
“Here I’ll help you carry them. You get the little ones.” We put their pictures on them instead of names to make it easier for him.
He passes them out to each of them and I follow behind him for Easton and his brothers. “Open the bigger ones first.” I tell them and watch as they tear into them like a race. Becker wins which I could have predicted. He holds up the handheld arcade game. We got him Mega Man. Kingston got the same. Jackson and Easton got Galaga. They exclaim happily and would probably have started playing until Cole stands up. “No little boxes now. I made them.”
Kingston mutters. “Great. Now we get to cry.”
Easton wins this time and he lifts out the small white book. “Me and my Daddy, Ice Vader.”
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The brothers open theirs, reading off their title too. “Darth Coco and his Ice Troopers.”
They all open them and Cole comes to tug on my hand. “They like them. They’re reading.”
“Oh fuc..ccacia Luci.” Jackson says tearing up. Becker quietly sniffs and Kingston manages to say with a thick, heavy voice. “You made these?”
“Cole and I wrote them and then we had them made.”
“Well, there goes the tissues.” Becker says as he grabs a few, then throws the box at Easton
who is biting his lip fiercely.
“Cole come here.” Jackson says as he closes his book. He lifts him up and hugs him. “We love you buddy. You’re the best.” He passes him down the line and they each whisper to him.
Mr. Jason holds his hands out for the books. “Let me see these.”
I go dig under the tree to find his and Baker’s books. “Coco, come here.” I wave to him and he
goes to hand those out.
“Thank fuccacia because I was feeling left out.” Mr. Jason says grinning. He tears into his.
“Me and Grand Pappatine. This is going to be a top ten novel for me, I can tell.” He begins
reading and he’s sniffling too.
Baker gives me a grateful smile. “Darth Coco and Baker Fett. This has to be good.”
Easton has finally finished. “Cole and Luci….” He calls out and we walk over to him. He’s been
crying too. “That was the best story ever.” Cole hugs him happily.
“I worked hard on it Daddy. I drew some of the pictures but then Luci has a friend who is an ahtist and they did the pictures.” He leaps down to go play with something.
“It’s Syd. She’s the artist.”
Easton stares at me as he tugs me into his lap. “She’s damn good too then. You two should write books.” He stares at me thoughtfully for a minute. “That was the best present.”
“I’m not done yet. You need to see what I got you. Cole, you have another one to open with your dad.” I wink at him and grab the two light boxes. He shakes his head as he and Cole open it. Cole’s shirt is black and in the yellow Star Wars font it says “COLE…..”
Easton’s matches but it says “….I am your father.”
Easton laughs at it and explains it to Cole. “We can match Daddy. I can’t wait.”
“Me too, buddy.”
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I have to drag the next three out. Easton frowns as he sees them. “What is that?”
“I think you have to open it to find out.” I tease. “I have them numbered.”
“I have wondered what those were since I saw them this morning.” Jackson mumbles.
He opens the first one and it’s a giant artistic photograph of him and Cole. They are in the Ice King’s hockey jerseys standing on the ice. No helmets but their heads are turned halfway toward each other. You can read their names on the back of their jerseys. He glances up at me seriously before tearing into the next one. It’s him with his three brothers, all of them with their
arms around each other’s shoulders as they stare into the muted arena stands before them.
You can’t see their faces, but their hair matches them.
“Dammit Luci, I want one of those.” Becker says jealously.
“Go look behind the tree.” Luci retorts. “And your other ones from me are under the tree. Can
you hand them out?”
“Ok you can’t have her, Easton. I’m taking her from you. Only at holidays.” Becker jokes.
Easton stares at the two. “One more Elsir.” I say softly.
He rips into it and then has to cover his mouth with his hand. “Luci……” He says shakily. It’s
one of him with Cole as a three or four month old baby. He’s holding him in his arms and Cole
is staring up at him with a small smile. Easton looks down at him with that new dad in love
look. “How….how did you do this? I don’t have any pictures of the two of us from then. We
were too overwhelmed.”
“I know. Baker helped me find a picture of him like that and then one of you later looking down
at him. His first birthday party. An artist named Kendrick Holmes specializes in these kinds of
pictures. So I took him those two and he made this.”
He’s on his feet and lifting me up high as he crushes me to him. “Dammit I love you so much. That is….you know how to get to me every time. You are so amazingly wonderful.”
“I’m jealous of those too. I may have to contact him.” Mr. Jason says.
“Umm Dad, these two have your names on them.” Kingston pulls out two more of the same
size and sets them in front of Mr. Jason.
“Luci Lou….” He smiles at me and then rips them open. The first one is the four boys in the hockey rink like the others, but Cole is in the middle of Easton and Jackson with his little hockey stick. Their jerseys are the light blue and silver, but it just says “Reed Kings” for the team name. He nods smiling. “That’s going here in the living room.” The second one is of him.
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and all of them standing together. I took it at the Christmas pageant and Kendrick was able to insert Cole into it while making sure they are close together. Baker is also in the photo. “This one too.” He stands up and comes to hug me. “You truly are something special Luci. Whoever that woman was that was so awful to you deserves to see what specialness she missed out
- on. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You said you wanted one when you hid them for me.”
I sit down and Easton leaves to head over to the tree. He comes back with like seven presents
and I frown. “What is that?”
“Pretty sure they are called presents.” He raises one eyebrow.
“Smarty flurry.” I joke and he drops one in my lap. “I thought you said you don’t go
usually.”
“For you, not sure I could. You deserve lots of presents sweetness.”
overboard
I begin opening them, finding a pretty mint colored sweatshirt with a number 11 embroidered
on the left side of the chest. There’s more of my favorite lotion and a small card like device.
“That’s a note taker for you to use. You can set it to record in your classes and it will transcribe your notes. It has enough memory to last the whole semester. I know that’s boring practical gift, but I really wanted you to have that.”
“Practical means you think about what I need. And this looks awesome.” I remind him. When I finally put that away, I open the last few.
One is a travel cosmetics case and the last large one is a pretty purple duffle bag. “So you can come with me to away games.” He says softly when I give him a puzzled look.
The last one is a framed print with a dark background and gold stars with the following words.
Yours is the light by
which my spirit’s born:
Yours is the darkness of my soul’s return –
You are my sun, my moon,
and all my stars.
E.E. Cummings
“That’s so pretty.” I reach for him and wrap my arms around his neck. “I think you spoiled me.”
“Not yet. And that poem reminds me of you.”
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ව
“Ah Luci, I love it.” Becker exclaims as he holds his hoodie up. His says “There’s No ‘l‘ in Team,
But there’s a ‘U‘ in Suck‘
Kingston’s reads “Always be Yourself, Unless you can be a Goalie. Then be the Goalie.
Jackson’s says “You Had a Chance Until I Stepped on the Ice
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Easton’s when he finally opens it reads “I Like Hockey and Maybe 3 People. He chuckles
reading it. “And those 3 change out routinely.” He jokes.
Ivory Row
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Oh Coco. sniff, sniff