Fries and Abandonment
He drives for a good 30 minutes and I look over at him nervously.
“Um, where are we going?”
“Just somewhere to eat, to talk.”
Food sounds good, but the last thing I want to do is talk to him.
He parks at a little diner in the middle of nowhere and I can’t help but feel a bit off balance for being here alone with him.
The hostess recognizes him right away, smiling a bit sadly at him. “Hi Zaid, it’s been a while since we’ve seen you. Do you want the usual booth?”
Zaid nods, placing his hands in his pockets as he walks behind her to a booth in the corner. We sit and she places the menus in front of us, smiling as she tells us that our
waitress will be here in a few.
The diner is big, but still somehow cozy, glowing in warm oranges and pinks. There’s a hum of conversation around us, the clatter of dishes and yelling from the kitchen filling
the air.
“She knows you,” I say as I peruse the menu, trying to start some type of conversation.
“They all do.” His voice is gruff and when I lift my head, I catch him looking out the window, his eyes sad, his jaw clenching.
A waitress stops by our table and takes our order, leaving us alone again a few minutes
later.
“Tell me about your brother,” Zaid looks to me, his face serious. There’s no taunt in his voice, no teasing in his eyes. No one has ever asked me that so directly.
My chest rises and falls. “Why?”
He shrugs. “So later, you can ask me about my mother.”
Heat spreads through my chest and I see that pain, that vulnerability in the way he sits.
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Fries and Abandonment
His throat constricts as he swallows.
“No one asks me about her. No one wants to talk about her. I feel like- I feel like I’m the
only one that remembers her.”
Tears prick my eyes and I don’t try to stop them. I let them roll down my cheeks, I let them drip down my chin and I inhale. “Alex was the golden boy. Of my family. Of our school. Everyone loved him. He was-”
“Who was he to you?”
Shock spreads through my veins and I am left speechless by the kindness of his question. The waitress breaks the moment, setting our food down in front of us. Neither of us pay
her much attention, wanting her to leave so we can continue our conversation.
I pick at my fries, trying to gain the courage to say what I have only ever thought in my head. “He was my best friend. We were inseparable, really.”
Zaid listens without attempting to interrupt, even when I take a break to stop my chin
from trembling so much.
“I used to say that he knew me better than I knew myself. I almost feel like
of my soul was taken from me. You know?”
–
like a part
I look to him for confirmation but Zaid says nothing, he doesn’t even move. His eyes just
drink me in, they move across my face, taking in every inch of my expression.
“I don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t – I don’t know if capable of feeling things anymore. He was so happy all the time, and now I never feel happy. I’m scared I never will
again. When we were young we would sneak out of our rooms and fall asleep together in
the hallway-”
My laugh breaks into a cry and I cover my mouth so quiet the noise.
I am so distracted that I don’t notice Zaid standing from his side of the booth. I just feel him when he sits beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and bringing me in
close to his chest.
I let him hold me.
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Fries and Abandonment
Zaid, of all people.
I let Zaid hold me and I cry into him long enough for me to regain my composure.
I swear I feel him press a kiss to my forehead. I pull away and wipe at my eyes. “I’m
sorry.”
He shakes his head, and when I look up to him, he’s studying the bruise on the side of my face. Anger reignites in his eyes, but he keeps his voice low. “Are you okay?”
I don’t even mind the change in topic, I appreciate it. He knows what he’s doing and I take his offer of help, his offer of distraction. “Yeah, I’m fine. I think I might still be a bit
shaken up, but I feel better.”
He slowly slides his arm from my shoulder but he doesn’t move back to his seat. “Do you
want to talk about it?”
I shake my head, watching him as he pulls his plate from the other side of the table.
“Why was Will even in there with you?”
“Sadie,” I blurt without thinking, still sniffling from crying.
Zaid tenses beside me, tilting his head to look at my face head on. “Sadie?”
I cringe, knowing my mistake. “Yeah.”
“And what does she have against you?”
I shrug. “I guess she got jealous.”
Zaid inhales slowly. “Why?”
“Becasue of Aiden.”
His expression darkens and he leans closer to me. “Alina.”
“Can we just forget this part of the conversation?”
“What does Aiden have to do with this?”
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Fries and Abandonment
I take a deep breath, thinking about my words before I speak them. “I kissed?”
His jaw clenches.
“She saw us.”
“Did Aiden almost kiss you, or did you almost kiss him?”
–
We
we almost
I shrink into myself. I don’t know why I feel weird talking to him about this, feel guilty admitting it to him. “Both?”
“Do you gave feelings for him?”
I snap my gaze to him. “Feelings? I don’t even know him.”
My heart skips a beat when he glares at me and says nothing.
“I… I don’t know.”
“You’re lying.”
I exhale, struggling for words. “It’s more It’s more like just a little crush. It’s not even-”
–
He stands abruptly, tossing a few bills onto the table. “Enjoy the food.”
My mouth drops as I watch him storm away. I look out the window, in shock, to see him get in his car and drive away. Leaving me here alone.
My appetite disappears, and I am too ashamed to call for waitress. I make sure the money he left is enough and then step outside, only to be greeted by a sudden downpour of rain.
I scoff, wanting to scream in frustration.
I don’t even really know how to get home, but I have my phone and I need the walk to clear my head. To process everything — Zaid, Aiden, Sadie and almost dying in the school bathroom.
–
It’s going to be a long walk, but it might be beneficial.
